Adult Carers
It’s normal to feel angry sometimes. If you’re caring for someone, you might feel angry because you don’t have the time to do things you enjoy. You may feel your life has been put on hold. Sometimes you may feel resentful that other people cannot or will not give you the help or support you need. Or perhaps the person you are caring for does not seem to appreciate all that you do for them.
Feelings of anger arise because of how we interpret and respond to certain situations. Everyone has their own triggers for what makes them angry, but some common ones include situations where we feel:
Anger feels different for everyone, and its effects are usually felt physically and mentally. You might feel a churning in your stomach, tightness in your chest, or a rapid heartbeat. You may feel hot, sweaty, or start shaking or trembling and feel unable to relax. Anger can also cause you to feel tense, resentful, easily irritated and guilty.
People can interpret situations differently, so a situation that makes you feel very angry may not make someone else feel angry at all (for example, other people might feel mild annoyance, hurt or amusement when faced with the same situation).
Just because we can interpret things differently, it doesn’t mean that you’re interpreting things in the ‘wrong’ way if you get angry. How people interpret and react to situations depends on a lot of factors in their lives such as their childhood upbringing, past experiences, and more recent experiences.
Anger is a normal, healthy human emotion, and it can be a positive force because it can spur us to action when changes need to be made in our lives. Learning healthy ways to recognise, express and deal with anger is important for our mental and physical health. However, anger can also be a destructive force. How you express your anger makes a big difference. It’s OK to be angry, but anger is a problem if you find yourself lashing out – verbally or physically – to others or yourself. The charity, Mind, explains that this can happen when:
If you’re finding it difficult to keep your anger under control, here are some things that will help.
NHS Inform and Macmillan Cancer Support offer some suggestions about what you can do right now and in the long term to bring your anger under control
If your angry outbursts are violent or abusive, this can cause serious problems in your life and relationships and can be very damaging to people around you. If you are in this situation, it’s important to seek help.
